Arrogance

I sit on a train, dancing in my head.

I see a beautiful woman, i feel thankful to see such a beautiful person with my own eyes.

I desire her to look back at me. She does.

She smiles. I feel her smile invites me to her, it warms my heart.

I do not feel alone, i am connected through a warm gesture. I smile back.

I do not move, i do not go to her. I focus myself and try to let go of my desire.

In this process i hurt her, i see she is pained, why would i not go?

I hurt myself, i wish to go to her but i feel i cannot. I get in the way.

Do you give yourself to another simply because they desire you so?

Do you deny them what you could truly give them because of your own desire?

I find myself confused and in pain.

I sit with my pain. I do not judge it. I do not judge myself or her or my desire.

It is hard to sit with this pain. I feel myself trying to run away. I do not know what to do.

I sit, and breath. i feel thankful for the opportunity to learn.

i let my pain stay as long as it needs to, i do not force it away.

i sit and breath. I hear foot steps in the hallway. i write to you.